Vegan Vent Fest '09

It's my birthday today. I had planned to take off work to avoid the awkward "we are going to half heartedly sing 'happy birthday' to you so we can eat some cake together in a conference room" but our receptionist was on vacation so I had to help out at the front desk.

I felt really uncomfortable last year, because for some reason this cake eating feels so ungenuine; I guess it's because I think random co-workers, who I am pleasant to, could really care less that it's my birthday. They just want some cake. I don't really like making a big deal about my birthday anyway. When I was little, my birthday kind of felt like another Christmas. I would countdown the days with complete excitement. Now it's just another day.

Tangent aside - I thought I got away with only a few people knowing that it's my birthday. The few that knew I figured would say "Happy Birthday" and mean it and maybe get me some sugary foodstuffs. I had no problem with that.

But word that it was my birthday spread like wildfire. Oh jesus. I was doomed. At 2:30 pm everyone was email that we would be partaking in some cake for my and my other co-worker's birthday (thank god I shared the spotlight). And the email included some allusion to me having a vegan cake. Blurg! For some reason I felt like I was an in-the-closet gay publicly outed. It was an invasion of my privacy that I didn't appreciate. Not everyone at work needed to know my personal dietary decisions for pete sake!

Now I am going to have to field all sorts of annoying and probing questions. I don't mind when people ask why when it comes from a place of well meaning curiosity and interest. I don't mind those questions at all. It's when I comes from a place that is ready for judgment and fault finding, that's when I get really irritated.

It's also become quite clear to me that most people just aren't able to respectfully joke or inquire about something that is very important to me. It may sound totally wacky and insane to you, but you could at least try to hide it.

Prime examples include:

• "is that a vegan knife you are cutting it with?" - har dee har har
• "not eating it doesn't make them come back to life" - you are an asshole sir.
• "i am actually very curious as to what is in there" said with one raised eyebrow - like its a genetically mutated frankenstein cake that will cause you to grow a unibrow and eat straw
• "do vegetarians use fossil fuels since they were once living?" smirky smirk smirk - dude, that isn't even funny. just stop trying.

So needless to say, something that intended to make me feel like a loved and appreciated part of my work place (which I am trying to remind myself) turned into an uncomfortable 15 minutes people making me feeling like a total freakshow. Which makes me unbelievably irked. I should never be made to feel bad for making a lifestyle choice that promotes the cruelty free treatment of animals.

In summation - I will take my birthday off next year if it freaking kills me.